Although marriage has been belittled, deep down most people people’ still crave a working marriage. Who doesn’t like better things? This list addresses everything, from the children and the finances. To ensure that you and your future husband have a clear understanding of what each of you wants for the future, it is important to discuss these topics.
Relationships from the Past
One topic that should be brought up for discussion before getting married could make you feel awkward. Regrettably, it is something that must be done. It is preferable to air all of one’s concerns in advance as opposed to having them surface after the event in question.
Secrets
Another thing that needs to be let go of is our secrets. Tell him if you have any reason to believe that there is a picture of you in which you are not clothed, such as one that was taken by an ex-boyfriend or one from a job that you had that you are not particularly proud of. It is always best to come clean rather than to live a life filled with worry that it will slip out. How awful would it be for your husband to discover, while at a party with all of his buddies, that you used to dress up as a clown at children’s birthday parties?
Kids
When one is engaged in the process of wedding preparation, it is normal to give thought to their future offspring. Marriage signifies the beginning of a family, even if your idea of “family” does not include having children. Before you get married, you need to have a conversation about whether or not you want children, how many children you want, whether or not you will adopt, and when you will begin expanding your family if you do decide to start a family. Do not enter into your marriage with the expectation that you will be able to change each other’s opinions. It is not right to deny a man the opportunity to have children or to expect him to father children that he does not want. If this is the case, then the two of you would be better off with another person.
Family
Have you had the chance to meet his family? Do you like them? Now is the time to figure out how you will deal with your families and where you will place boundaries so that you can move forward. It is irrational to enter into a marriage with the expectation that either his parents or your parents will not attempt to intervene in the relationship at some point.
Goals
Does he have any idea what your plans for the future are? Do you recognize his name? If you are interested in advancing your career and intend to devote everything you have to your job over the next five years to achieve a particular level of success in terms of promotion or financial gain, he needs to be aware of this fact. You also need to know how his plans to leave his current job to become a wedding singer are going to impact your life. He wants to quit his job and become a wedding singer.
Location
What are your plans for the future after you get married? Possibly the two of you already share a residence, which reduces the number of topics that need to be discussed before the wedding; however, you should still inquire about the length of time either of you intends to continue living in the home in which you currently reside or whether or not you will need to immediately begin setting money aside to purchase a house shortly.
Vacation
Do you know where your future husband wants to go on vacation before the two of you get married? Even though it’s possible that this won’t be something that happens right away, it’s still fun to fantasize about amazing trips that the two of you can go on together.
Religion
Believe it or not, religion is a topic that should be discussed before getting married. It’s very important. If you guys come from different religious backgrounds, there is a good chance that the subject has been brought up more than once. Determine before you get married how you will handle any religious differences and how you will celebrate each other’s respective religious holidays.
Faithfulness
You might think that making a solemn promise to love one another without conditions would sum up one another’s views on loyalty, but this is not always the case. Some firmly believe that as long as your area codes are different, it is acceptable to engage in sexual activity. Before you take that first step down the aisle together, make sure that you and your future spouse have the same expectations regarding faithfulness.
Values
Everyone adheres to their code of ethics. Before getting married, you should talk about the values that are most important to each of you, even though most of your values probably don’t differ all that much from one another. After that, you will be able to choose the core beliefs that your family will uphold.
Chores
Didn’t think it was important to talk about responsibilities before getting married, did you? Believe me, this is a conversation that you need to have. You need to make it clear what your expectations are regarding the cleanliness of the house. Determine right now who will be in charge of which responsibilities, so that everyone will know who to blame when the trash hasn’t been taken out and the toilet is a disgusting mess.
Budget
Simply talking about your financial situation is not enough. In addition to this, you need to sit down and figure out a budget together. This budget ought to allow you to pay all of your bills, come up with a strategy to pay off any existing debt, and put money away for the future. A good budget will make it very clear how much money is available each month to spend on things like clothing and entertainment.
Time Spent Wisely
Before getting married, there is one more topic that you should think about discussing: how the two of you will spend quality time together. Don’t forget to make plans for date nights and other unique ways to show each other appreciation.
Parenting
If you have decided to start a family, the next step is to talk about how you will raise your children. There is a wide variety of approaches to parenting styles. When it comes to discipline, some parents are more strict than others, while others are laxer. There is no right or wrong answer; rather, it is just something that should be considered before getting married.
The Methods of Combat
Have you ever fought fairly? Talk about how you can solve problems without resorting to name-calling before you get married. Determine which subjects are likely to inflame the situation and should be avoided if you want the fight to be fair.
Forgiveness
After you’ve disagreed, how do you plan to forgive each other? Do you have any idea what kinds of actions he considers to be inexcusable or those that might make it extremely challenging for him to forgive you completely? Find out information like this as soon as possible.
Jealousy
In any kind of relationship, jealousy can be a major obstacle to overcome. Tell him that you are a jealous person if that’s who you are. Tell him the things that cause you to feel jealous, as well as the ways that he can help you avoid those things or get through them more easily.
As can be seen, there are a lot of topics that need to be covered before getting married. Do not let the thought of these things discourage you from getting married. You and the man who will one day be your husband must have a complete comprehension of one another. What are some additional topics of importance that should be covered before getting married?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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